Buon Giorno, Putin! Have we gotta deal for you!

Photo from Il Fatto Quotidiano

In the middle of Italy's prolonged economic crisis, which is still ongoing, Berlusconi's Defense Minister La Russo decided to throw motor oil atop the festering flames of a population forced to hear "we don't have the money" for nursery schools or hospital toilet paper or school repairs. He did what any despotic dictator would do, and purchased 19 Maserati's for his cronies errr...commanders to the tune of 2.2 M euro. Saying they were low budget items, like no-name brand toothpaste, he said that he not only saved the country money vis-a-vis Audi's, but that it helped create jobs for those poor folks slaving away on the Maserati assembly line. After all, it was a world economic crisis and those cars just weren't in high demand.
This year, many of these infamous auto blu - dark blue sedans for politicians - went up for auction, as part of an austerity program instigated by, I believe, former short-term Prime Minister, Monti. And while most of the standard cars (about 200) went for sale, it seems no one - not even the idly rich political class wants to pay the VAT (Value Added Tax) on a used vehicle.
So, the government went to ebay.
Unfortunately, it appears that the dark windows and bullet-proof doors aren't for everyone. Not even the mafia nor the camorra.  
So, Silvio?  You're good friends with Putin...why don't you play the middleman? I'm sure these kinds of cars are in big demand over there.  And maybe the Italian government would even give you a percentage on the deal. 

Mussolini loses his citizenship

In what some people thought was an April Fool's joke on the part of city administrators of Torino (Turin), Benito Mussolini was stripped of his place of honor of nearly a century as an upright citizen of Torino.  
"And you people thought that giving keys to the City was just a matter of pomp.  Just know, we can give you the keys and generations later, when we re-write history, we can take them away," remarked Torino's Mayor.

Fascism - from the Etruscan & later
Roman Empire idea
that bound together (with fasces)
we are strong

While they 'whited out' Mussolini's citizenship from the storied ledgers and restored their place in history as anti-fascist, officials chose to whitewash Torino's birthplace of the Kings of Italy.  Victor Emanuel III of the House of Savoy is the guy who brought Mussolini to power after WWI, appointing him Prime Minister at the age of 39 and with no prior experience in politics.  When the monarchy was voted out after WWII, Victor fled to live out his last days in Alexandria, Egypt, a bit like Marc Anthony back in better times.  
The House of Savoy was exiled and its male descendants not permitted to re-enter Italy -- until 2002 -- after Italians realized that, due to centuries of in-breeding, the family was pretty much innocuous -- And besides, they couldn't inflict much more damage than the Italian politicians themselves (from either party), including Berlusconi, Prodi & Co.
Clearly suffering an identity complex, no sooner was the heir, Victor Emanuel, allowed in the country than he took a cue from Berlusconi, and was arrested for abetting prostitution and corruption.  Not to be outdone, the Savoys then tried to sue Italy for damages done to them following their 20th century reign. Italy counter-sued for damages, and, the Italian courts expect a decision sometime in the year 2167.  The Jewish community, almost exterminated entirely under the Savoy reign, is still waiting for damages as well.

When asked about Mussolini's place in history, showman and former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, and Putin pal, put it best:

"Mussolini never killed anyone. 

At most, he just sent people for vacation on the border." 

After the vote, and in a rare moment of sheer lucidity, some of the Torino cabinet from the extreme Lega Party demanded that Torino change the name of one of its major thoroughfares, the Avenue of the Soviet Union.  
Seeing how events are unfolding in Crimea, the Mayoral office decided to take a 'wait and see attitude' - citing, "You never know, like Alessandra Mussolini, or Alemanno, the fascist Mayor of Rome, there's always time for a comeback-just ask Putin. Or Berlusconi."


*Veritas Check:  Incredibly, everything in this post is entirely true except the quotes from the Torino Mayoral office.