Italy's Prime Minister Renzi goes for a Triple Dip

Photo from l'Espresso Magazine

As news of Italy entering a Triple-Dip Recession came in on the economic front, Italy's Prime Minister Renzi decided to celebrate by offering scoops of gelato to the clearly stressed & distressed employees of Palazzo Chigi, the seat of Italy's President.  Citing that they "Only earn 2.4 times the salary of Barack Obama," they needed some cheering up.    After all, Renzi continued, "To get a triple dip is as difficult as those triple flips dynamic gymnasts do at the Olympics.  My people work hard to get us where we are today.  It takes guts to gut a country - just see what Silvio did - so here's some buon gelato helping to help those who need it least."  A Renzi spokesperson added, "We're humanizing government.  These poor State employees have to face 'il rientro' from their 6-week holidays.  It's tough the first day back. I mean, the traffic! Our poor chauffeurs! It's a jungle out there."

Since his ice cream man stunt which was lampooned across social media left, right and center, Italy has since entered into a full-scale depression.  In response, Renzi, for his part said, "Depression? Isn't that the lovely recess where they put those lovely scoops of ice cream to make a fabulous sundae? Sounds delizioso!"

Despite all the criticism, people close to the Prime Minister remarked: "I'd rather see ice cream dished out here in cones than lathered upon call girls or another sort of cone in the private quarters of our Last Emperor, Silvio."

And, in case you're wondering where he got the inspiration, click here to hear Paolo Conte's excellent song, Un Gelato al Limon.

Buon Giorno, Putin! Have we gotta deal for you!

Photo from Il Fatto Quotidiano

In the middle of Italy's prolonged economic crisis, which is still ongoing, Berlusconi's Defense Minister La Russo decided to throw motor oil atop the festering flames of a population forced to hear "we don't have the money" for nursery schools or hospital toilet paper or school repairs. He did what any despotic dictator would do, and purchased 19 Maserati's for his cronies errr...commanders to the tune of 2.2 M euro. Saying they were low budget items, like no-name brand toothpaste, he said that he not only saved the country money vis-a-vis Audi's, but that it helped create jobs for those poor folks slaving away on the Maserati assembly line. After all, it was a world economic crisis and those cars just weren't in high demand.
This year, many of these infamous auto blu - dark blue sedans for politicians - went up for auction, as part of an austerity program instigated by, I believe, former short-term Prime Minister, Monti. And while most of the standard cars (about 200) went for sale, it seems no one - not even the idly rich political class wants to pay the VAT (Value Added Tax) on a used vehicle.
So, the government went to ebay.
Unfortunately, it appears that the dark windows and bullet-proof doors aren't for everyone. Not even the mafia nor the camorra.  
So, Silvio?  You're good friends with Putin...why don't you play the middleman? I'm sure these kinds of cars are in big demand over there.  And maybe the Italian government would even give you a percentage on the deal. 

Italians Flip Out over Women Cabinet Members in New Renzi Govt

Italy's youngest Prime Minister decided to take a very bold step - not in campaigning against government corruption, the mafia, and a bingo card of problems that beset Italy in the 21st century - but in his appointment of an unsightly crowd to help solve Italy's most severe problems:  Women.  
Italians, in response said that it "might be fine for Pope Francis and the Holy See" to put women in plum jobs, but, asserted that Italy is a Catholic country -- where women are reserved for only one high office: The Assumption of the Virgin, celebrated each August 15th.  
Some observers from Berlusconi's government were indignant, stating that "Women, especially the young ones, need to be seen in the back seats of limos with darkened windows or at plastic surgeons' waiting rooms and after, in centerfolds or the Pirelli Calendar" - but not standing in broad daylight with the President of the country. 
To keep octogenarian President Napolitano's blood pressure in check, he was told that the women were there to take measurements for new drapes and posed happily for the 'before' pictures in the reception room.

Others from the Left -- clearly unhappy that the women were so green they hadn't yet conceived of lining their pockets with bribes in order to sport the latest fashions at top euro prices -- complained that the Cabinet members should have "Put in a call to Armani" like Berlusconi's hooker-hookerupper, Nicole Minetti.

After an all-male film crew then sexually harassed the neo-Minister Boschi; taking it so far as to not addressing her with the formal "Lei" reserved for men in power only, they said they wanted to teach her a lesson.  "How dare she wear a color not found in nature - and during fashion week, of all things!"

Observers remarked that sadly, Italians truly hate change.  They much prefer men in black and grey suits while their mistresses can sport any color of tanga produced by La Perla.  That way, they stay distracted by the 'eye candy' while the millions stuffed in leather cases are passed from one to another, without anyone noticing.  "Now with women in high office, where is she going to stuff all the bribes?  In her bra?" one developer, who asks to remain anonymous, commented in disgust.

More on the Sexist Fixation from The Daily Mail

Saint Silvio's Community Service

As things look for one Silvio Berlusconi, he never would have served any jail time for his convictions anyway.   His four years already were reduced to one, and then his age, while not preventing him to be locked up in a basement with a pole dancer at his villa in Sardinia, prevents him from actually being behind bars.
And so, his other option was In House Arrest or Community Service.
I have to say, I was not so surprised when Silvio stated that Community Service would be beneath him.  
But still, wasn't this the same guy who professed - even under oath - that all he truly wanted to do was "help out a few girls" maybe get a head start on their 'beauty' salons? What greater honor than perhaps working with women to get them off the streets.  I'm sure he has plenty of apartments where they could live nicely, with stipend.

But seriously, while Italians are quite generous with volunteer time and giving, there is not much in the way of leaving your name on a building, setting up richly funded foundations, starting universities on a scale like Rockefeller or Carnegie Mellon, or Kresge.  Sure, there are plenty of foundations, but usually, one finds these ultra-rich purchasing art & villas for their offspring, rather than create something for the good of the community.
What a legacy Silvio could have left if only he used his money or his elbow grease for doing good works?  Instead of pretending to purchase a villa in Lampedusa, maybe creating a village like Milano II - but to house those immigrants who actually make our shores, rather than keeping them behind high fences.
Although, one could argue...looking at the showgirls he plucked from obscurity to land choice jobs feeding at the public trough, he did, indeed, take a few women off the streets, or in the very least, off the pages of nude mags.
Maybe he can argue that he's already served the community all these years - with his personal brand of public service.